Thursday, November 24, 2016

Sometimes it bubbles up, sometimes it doesn't . . .




Hey - it's Thanksgiving!

We get to take a break from the stuff that divides us and say, "thank you" to the one that created us.

I'll never forget the story of someone very close to me (who shall remain anonymous):

He does not align himself with any particular spiritual ideas, and so I was fascinated with his story that he told me one night.  Traveling to a very remote corner of the globe on vacation, he was walking on a remote beach looking up at the stars.  The view arrested him and he had to pause for a minute and stare.  I remember him saying that the words just bubbled out of him.   "Thank you" was all he could say as he stared up at those bright multitudinous stars.

It was a lesson for me.

You don't have to be 'religious' to be grateful.  Not only does the science tell us that thankfulness is good for us (see the Harvard article here), but it is also a part of who we are.  Deep down we know that there is someone or something else out there to thank.  To have received so much in even being here to begin with we are stunted if we don't take a moment to whisper, "thank you."  Even if you don't know who you are thanking.  He hear's it just the same.

So who cares if you got people talking about politics at the dinner table . . .

They are here - and by here I mean alive.  And that is something for which we can be thankful.  Even if it takes a little effort.  No one said all of our thankfulness needs to bubble out of us.  Sometimes it takes effort but that builds character.

So make it happen.

We don't need to be in some exotic location to have something to be thankful for.  There are tons of reasons right in front of us.  Even the brother in law across the table from you who just flinged a small piece of stuffing out of his mouth in delivering his latest political gloat.

God love him.

And you can be thankful for him.

Even if it doesn't just bubble out . . .

Hey - it's Thanksgiving!

We get to take a break from the stuff that divides us and say, "thank you" to the one that created us.

I'll never forget the story of someone very close to me (who shall remain anonymous):

He does not align himself with any particular spiritual ideas, and so I was fascinated with his story that he told me one night.  Traveling to a very remote corner of the globe on vacation, he was walking on a remote beach looking up at the stars.  The view arrested him and he had to pause for a minute and stare.  I remember him saying that the words just bubbled out of him.   "Thank you" was all he could say as he stared up at those bright multitudinous stars.

It was a lesson for me.

You don't have to be 'religious' to be grateful.  Not only does the science tell us that thankfulness is good for us (see the Harvard article here), but it is also a part of who we are.  Deep down we know that there is someone or something else out there to thank.  To have received so much in even being here to begin with we are stunted if we don't take a moment to whisper, "thank you."  Even if you don't know who you are thanking.  He hear's it just the same.

So who cares if you got people talking about politics at the dinner table . . .

They are here - and by here I mean alive.  And that is something for which we can be thankful.  Even if it takes a little effort.  No one said all of our thankfulness needs to bubble out of us.  Sometimes it takes effort but that builds character.

So make it happen.

We don't need to be in some exotic location to have something to be thankful for.  There are tons of reasons right in front of us.  Even the brother in law across the table from you who just flinged a small piece of stuffing out of his mouth in delivering his latest political gloat.

God love him.

And you can be thankful for him.

Monday, November 21, 2016

How Make Friends with, and change a racist . . .



Yes, racism exists in America.  It needs to be defeated completely - there is no room for racism in any just and prosperous society.  Yes, it has been a horrible cancer on our nation's history and yes, white people have a great burden in this area.

But it seems like those who talk about it the most are missing an opportunity.  

For example, a friend of mine posted about his faith and used imagery about "light casting out the darkness."  A friend of his, who works for racial justice and equality, warned him to be careful - that a white person using light and dark imagery is 'very serious.'

Poor guy.

All he was doing was talking about his faith.  He wasn't talking about skin color, he was talking about light.  It seems like a stretch to imply these are racist code words.  In fact, it seems . . . racist.  Sometimes when you focus on something so much it becomes all you can see.  In fact there will undoubtedly be people who will cite my white privilege in denying me the right to speak into this.

Just last week I had a conversation with someone told me that racism only comes from white people.  He quoted a professor in Canada who wrote an article equating racism with 'whiteness.'   According to this professor,  white people can't truly understand or talk about racism because it comes from the social construction of being white.


Hmmm . . .  wait a second . . .

Tell that to my Arabic friend who often told me how lazy Puerto Ricans are.

Tell that to the guy I sat next to at a Moroccan Cafe who snidely referred to Africans in the middle of the Continent as uneducated.

Tell that to the South Korean friend of mine in grad school who said Vietnamese people are easy to pick out because they look like criminals.

Tell that to the Vietnamese guy who said that all Japanese people are full of themselves.

Tell that to the little girl who lived in the apartment below me when I was first married - the one who described all South Americans as snobby and mean.

No, racism is not a 'whites only' affair.  Whites assume a huge part of the burden in America, but racism is a worldwide phenomenon - we see it played out in headlines about the Hutus and the Tutsis and the Kurds and Jews and Arabs.  

We hear it in the comments of Presidential candidates and the humor of Chris Rock.  Like a cancer it has invaded even those who think that they are helping.  The ones who see racism in everything and warn us about our 'whiteness.'

The problem is we think we can wall it off and 'de-friend' all the racists.

In fact, the opposite is true.  When the racists only have themselves to interact with it becomes stronger and we have two Americas.  There is no mixing of good and fresh thinking.  It becomes an 'us' versus 'them.'  We wall off a whole subculture and then we get surprised when they exhibit undesirable traits together.  The solution is more radical than condemnation.

We have to make friends with them.  It's more subversive, more penetrating and more healing.

This was Jesus' lead.  The Jews of His day had nothing to do with Samaritans because they were horrible people.  Historically they were traitors to the Jewish faith.  You were unclean to venture into their county.  So He purposefully went there.  And took people with Him.  And he mixed with people.  And stayed awhile.  And told stories about Good Samaritans.  You see what He did there?  He crossed the divide.  He mixed the cultures.

We just need to do this in reverse.

And this is the perfect time to start.  We have racial problems here in America.  White people bear a good amount of that burden, but we all have work to do.

Here are some simple steps:

1.  When you come across people who are racist, resist the urge to smack them in the face.  Count to ten.  Breathe.  And if you are able . . . engage.  "Tell me more about why you think Vietnamese people look like criminals?"

2.  Seek more than one conversation.  Look to develop a relationship.  Start viewing this as a mission from God (because it kind of is).  Within whatever power you have, develop a relationship with someone who has these racist tendencies.

3.  Seek creative ways to introduce them to the truth.  Invite them to a party at your house and nonchalantly introduce them to your Vietnamese Accountant (You know, the one who helped you get a great refund last year).  Not a crook.  Got it.  The more that you get them to see that their assumptions are unfounded the more that you may get to help them overcome their prejudice.

4.  Sincerely listen.  Racism and prejudice often comes from real hurt.  I'll never forget a friend of mine who had a series of really bad incidents with some black kids in his neighborhood. He was roughed up a bunch and then someone stole his bike.  That kind of stuff sticks with you and you begin to get bitter.  Acknowledging that pain while challenging them to rise above it is a step in the direction of healing.  But it won't begin without sincere listening . . . or even a relationship.

So yes, I know that these are just baby steps.  You and I both have a ton of work to do in healing our nation, but it does start in following Jesus' lead.







Friday, November 11, 2016

A Much Needed Dose of Good News . . .




I have good news.

I know, in a time like this - when there are so many headlines and social media entries that lament the end of the world.  Good news?  How can there be such a thing?

It's true.

And the truth is that you already know it - even if you don't think you do.  The truth is this: Your life is bigger than what happened last Tuesday.

Think about it . . . Eight years ago, someone ran for president about change.  When he was elected, half the country thought the world was over.  They seriously lost their mind.  I remember somber faces and grim pursed lips.  But guess what?  The world didn't end.  In fact, there were a bunch of things that turned out nicely.    

So now this new guy gets into office and guess what he is promising . . . you guessed it: Change.

So half the country has lost it's mind.  A couple thousand people in California want to secede from the union.  There is a petition going on to have the Electoral College vote contrary to what the people in their state voted.  Tears and mourning like the country has ended.  I know friends whose children were crying.  Weird.  

America, get a hold of yourself.

I remember when Bill Clinton became president in 1992.  You should have seen it, half the country thought that the world had ended.  Friends of mine were incredulous that I was like, "ahh, what can one guy really do to a country?"  They were convinced America was over.  On the other hand, there were people who were ecstatic.  I was in a Women's Studies class the day after Bill Clinton won the election and I remember the professor raving about all that he was going to do for women in America.  

Irony.

Hey the world didn't end - in fact some great things happened (which really had nothing to do with the person in the white house).  I found a special lady during Bill Clinton's term in the Oval Office.  She said, "yes" when I asked her to marry me and my life went in a very good direction since that day.  

And I didn't have the Democrats or the Republicans to thank for that.

The point is that you have a lot to be excited about in life that has nothing to do with some guy who is sitting in the Oval Office.  Really.  I'm not especially excited about the outcome of the election (my man didn't even win one state, for crying out loud), but I've turned my attention back to the stuff that matters.

Like my life.

And hey - good news - you have one too.  Clue: It's not found in all the social media raging or sound bytes that tell us that life as we know it is over.  It's not.  The script may have changed, but did you really think you were in control of events like last Tuesday?

Some guy won an election - its not your guy - so please pass the carrots and get on with your life.

It's easy.  Turn off the TV.  Put down the phone.  Talk to your family.  Sign up for a shift volunteering at your local shelter or boys/girls club.  Ask someone out on a date.  Pray with your neighbor that just got diagnosed with cancer.  Kiss your fiancee.  Have a bunch of friends over and watch a stupid movie and eat lots of ice cream.  That's called life - you have one - use it.  

The good news is that no one sitting in an office in DC has any power over your decision today to be excited about God's direction for your life.

Now go live it.

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. - John 10:10

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Today is a key moment to do something bigger than you





I think most people were surprised about the results of the election last night . . .

For some it was pleasant surprise . . . others had anger, shock and sadness.  I'm sure you have seen social media comments already about leaving for Canada or, “He’s not my president.” 

For some, they are just glad it’s over. 

But there are also many people who had a lot invested in this.  Today hurts.  And those who were pleasantly surprised need to give those who weren’t the space to grieve.  Today is not the day for “you lost, get over it” kind of sentiments. 

Seriously, don’t do it.

We are at a point where we can truly move forward together if we approach this day with humility and sincere concern.  And I don’t mean politically or nationally – I mean individually.  Today is a very raw day for a lot of people.  I've heard it described like they just got shot.  And if you ever want to improve your relationship with people you disagree with, it won’t be as you stand over them saying, “I told you so.”

Today is a great day for mercy to shine.  Don’t miss it.

Ten years from now, people will remember where they were when they heard the results of the election.  Some will remember the way they felt punched in the gut.  They will remember how they entered their Facebook status: “there are no words.”

They will also long remember the way that Jesus-followers reacted.  

That’s you.

Will today be a trail of tears for your neighbors, co-workers and friends that can’t believe this day has come?  Or will it mark the day that they saw a different side of Christ-followers . . .

“Jenna, before we start this meeting, let me buy you a cup of coffee . . . I know this is a big thing . . . you okay?”

“Mark, I know you and I have had a long back-and-forth about politics.  I just want you to know I’m not going to be like that.  This country moves forward moving together.”

Hey look, Chris, I’ve said it before . . . we don’t put our faith in politics and political leaders.  I’m more concerned that you and I are good than whether someone won an election or not . . .”


Please.  Start there.  This is a time for mercy to shine and humility to be the way to show who we really put our faith in. 

Think about it – right now there are a lot of people who are linking Christ with a political party.  And we know political parties drop the ball and disappoint.  We have a lot of work to do showing people that those people will fail, but our Savior never will.

And that only happens in close proximity.

So drop the explanations of how “we” finally pushed back and start practicing the humility and care of people that is the true measure of our faith.  The election is over but the real work within our culture begins with love and concern.



Monday, November 7, 2016

And now . . . the time to mend fences



There is a time and place for everything . . .

It has been a looooong election cycle.  We have all had varying degrees of passionate interest in the politics of it all . . . and in our lesser moments . . . incredulous frustration at the people we have disagreed with.  

Are you seriously this narrow-minded?
Were you born this stupid?
To all the boneheads that think this person is a good candidate . . .

And maybe that has caused tension with some our your relationships.  These relationships might heal with time but if you want to do the right thing, it is time to mend some fences.

It's called reconciliation and it is more than just a good idea.  

Jesus said it like this:

So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.  Matt 5:23-4

Simple.  In a day when sacrificing at the altar was like going to church, Jesus said, "if someone has something against you . . . go and be reconciled."  In other words, before you go to church - make things right with your friends.  Kind of like, "before you can expect God's mercies, make sure you model God's mercies -  go make peace with people."

Notice it wasn't, "if you have a problem with someone" - it was "if someone has a problem with you."

Which means you aren't off the hook if you don't have any hard feelings.  

The question is: Does anyone have hard feelings toward you?

Look, this politically heavy season has probably had a few casualties that we have left on the battlefield.  If you can think of someone right now, maybe you need to send them a quick note that says, "hey - I hope I wasn't so passionate about what I believe that it hurt our friendship."

Maybe something simple, like "forgive me if I got too into it.  I still want us to be friends."

Maybe just, "forgive me."

Because politics and political figures will come and go but our friends are the ones who will help us get through the next four years when one of these two bozos gets it wrong.  Maybe now is the time to remember that even though you might still not agree, the best thing you can do for your own sanity (and relationship with God) is to offer an apology.

So get on that - because you may not be able to control the election, but you can control your reaction to it.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

If you are ready for the whole thing to be 'settled' . . .



All of us have had conversations over the last couple of weeks that sound something like this:

"I'm done with this whole election.  Can we just get it over with  . . ."

Usually (in some form) punctuated with the following:

"I just want this whole thing to be over and feel settled."

Settled?  

Excuse me, did you say, 'settled?'

We are already settled.  It is an illusion to think that anything is unsettled.  Nothing is going to change November 9th.  

This is a short list of things that have already been settled:

* Regardless of how we feel about it or who becomes president, no wall will be built on our border.  We already have a wall at our border with Mexico.  Really.  This will be front page news.

* Regardless of how we feel about it or who becomes president, there will still be one half of one percent of our nation that believes they are a different gender and will use whatever bathroom they want.

* Regardless of how we feel about it or who becomes president, no amount of tax "on the rich" will put a dent in our economic woes.  If we taxed the richest 1% of our country 100% this year it would not be enough to fund medicare for three years . . . and that is just one of thousands of government programs.  A drop in the ocean.

* Regardless of how we feel about it or who becomes president, Roe vs. Wade will not be overturned.  We have had 20 years of Republican presidents since 1973 who were a whole lot more popular and effective  - they even appointed justices and that didn't get it done.  Speaking of justices . . . six of nine justices ruling in Roe v Wade were from Republican presidents.  Supreme Court appointees don't mean much.

* Regardless of how we feel about it or who becomes president, no one is going to make a law making it illegal to buy a gun.  

* Regardless of how we feel about it or who becomes president, people will still be able to pray, go to church and say what they want to say.  Even boneheads.

* Regardless of how we feel about it or who becomes president, Russia will still do crazy things in the world, Iran and North Korea will continue to be wildcards and no one will have a clue how to deal with it all.

* Regardless of how we feel about it or who becomes president, there will still be evil in people's hearts that make them go into public places and kill other people with guns or knives or explosives.

That's because what we are experiencing is a human condition - not a political one.  And you don't have to be religious to realize that we struggle with spiritual issues, not legislative issues.  The world is remade from daily decisions to do the right thing, not pieces of paper that tell us to do the legal thing.  

You want to feel more settled?

Flip it upside down . . .

The Bible never said 'make laws, influence public policy, stuff the Supreme Court and the Kingdom of Heaven will come . . ."

You know where the Kingdom of Heaven resides?  Inside of you.  So I don't care if you are an atheist, you like wearing women's clothes, you want to build a wall, stack a court or want to make sure everyone gets free college . . . none of these things will get the same result as imitating the lifestyle of a rabbi two thousand years ago.  

I know, I know - we are too smart for that . . . that whole Christian thing is so long gone.

Then why are we so unsettled?

You already have the power needed to change the world - it starts with you.